


Lungs

by orphan_account



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Ambiguous Relationships, M/M, Recreational Drug Use, Shotgunning, Smoking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-19
Updated: 2021-01-19
Packaged: 2021-03-17 15:48:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,145
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28851576
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: You think that Dirk knows exactly what he’s doing to his body at this point, so you’ve given up with the lectures that could rival a high school assembly. You guess there are worse things he could do.Regardless, it’s interesting to watch. He looks calm and patient, his long fingers draped in the air with the cigarette between them.
Relationships: Auto-Responder | Lil Hal & Dirk Strider, Auto-Responder | Lil Hal/Dirk Strider
Comments: 2
Kudos: 13





	Lungs

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! I’ve literally never written anything before so please bear with me here. Hopefully you enjoy!!

Deep pulls followed by low sighs fill the space between the two of you, but the smoke isn’t there out of spite like it might’ve been with Jake. Watching Dirk like this has never made as much of a statement against you as he might’ve liked it to. It’s one of the few almost-intimate things he lets you enjoy with him, so you savour it carefully.

You think that Dirk knows exactly what he’s doing to his body at this point, so you’ve given up with the lectures that could rival a high school assembly. You guess there are worse things he could do. 

Regardless, it’s interesting to watch. He looks calm and patient, his long fingers draped in the air with the cigarette between them.

There would be no reason to design a set of working lungs on your artificial body, let alone the complicated set of fans it would take to simulate anything close to breathing, so any attempt at copying Dirk’s harmful habit ends unsuccessfully. But that’s fine with you, you feel special when he lets you watch. 

Of course that doesn’t mean you aren’t curious. 

“Give it here.״

Dirk’s eyes snap towards you as you shift your smooth body away from the railing with a rattle. He raises an eyebrow. 

You step lightly as the metal panels holding you above the sea squeak under your weight. “For the aesthetics, bro. Like those Pinterest boards with people you know are going to look fucking awful in a couple decades.” You lie smoothly. 

A glare is shot your way as you press yourself into Dirk’s side. He takes another drag, this time holding it for longer than you think is necessary.

“Its not like it would do anything for you anyways,” He mutters around a breath. “Just spit it out, dude. I know you want something.” The exhale is swept into your face by the salty wind. 

You probably should’ve guessed he’d see through you, but if you’re honest with yourself you don’t really know what you want. You feel strange and foreign, like you felt the first time you tried walking in the body he made you. You’re almost nervous, and that makes you feel even more strange. 

“Trust me.” is what you settle on. Vague and sure to spark some kind of emotion in his devoid face for you to latch onto. 

Unfortunately, the stutter of the hand leaving Dirk’s mouth is the only indication of surprise, but that’s enough to tell you that he really is listening now. 

You stare into the side of his head while his eyes stay carefully focused on the sea. 

“I just need you to try something. It’s not even really for me. I get practically nothing out of your carefully developed addiction.”

That puts him on edge. You don’t even really know what you’re telling him to do. You have no idea how to do this. Part of you think he’s going to walk out when he pulls himself away from the railing, but he just stops and gives you a look. 

“I’m not changing anything on your body, Hal. It’s done. You don’t need the extra shit.” He’s already told you this, and as much as you like to bring it up to piss him off, you don’t really want to change your body either. 

“Nah, I just want to see what all the fuss is about.” You gesture towards the cigarette burning between his fingers. His face contorts into a slightly more readable expression, and you can tell he’s going to get pissy if you don’t cough up what you want. 

You feel the little tiny speck of doubt creep into your wiring and pick at your brain. Your eyes fall back onto Dirk and you notice his expression soften for a split second. You decide that if he really hates your suggestion, you can just play it off later and ignore any emotions that might arise. 

“Shotgun.”

There’s a beat. 

“...What?”

You feel the regret already climbing up your synthetic spine, but the words just start to tumble out. 

“Do that. Shotgunning. I want to try it- not that it’ll do anything, obviously. And not in the normal way with the breathing in on my part. Or hey, maybe you actually did install a shiny pair of lungs and the unique organic structure needed to actually feel the effects of any drug I happen to shoot into my system. Unlikely though, you don’t even let me have a grocery store barcode scanner and that doesn’t even fucking do anything.”

You think you’d be out of breath if it actually took any to talk, but Dirk’s still staring at you so you’re not really sure what else to do. 

He waves his hand and your words die off. 

“You- what? What was the fucking question?” You don’t like how he’s talking, like it’s a hassle to try and understand you. It shows when you throw your words at him, half hoping he’ll just argue with you over nothing and dismiss it as boredom. 

“Shit, Dirk. It’s easier if I just-“ You pull the cigarette from his fingers and hold it in between you. It feels weird and you’re pretty sure you’re holding it wrong but it gets the point across. 

He immediately goes to grab it back, but you pull away and put a hand against his chest. 

“Chill out dude. I know you’re an addict but Jesus.” It’s not the best thing to be poking him about considering the tension, but he seems to settle back a bit anyways. 

“Hal.” 

His voice is tense, but he stays behind your hand. You lower your arm and look at him. 

“Trust me. I just want to try something okay? And I need you to work with me.” 

You watch him shift until he settles into a passive front. That’s probably the closest you’ll get to agreement, so you move on. 

“When I give it to you, inhale but don’t blow out.” 

You can tell he’s fighting not to argue with you, it’s almost sweet in a way. You bring your hand up to his face, hesitate, but finally press the unlit end against his lips. He reflexively moves to take it from you but stops himself, palms hovering over yours. 

His mouth relaxes and you feel him settle the cigarette on his lips before pulling in. His chest rises as he holds it, just like you asked. 

Your hand comes down, taking the cigarette with it. A small puff escapes his mouth before he shuts it in a thin-lipped line. You take a moment before moving towards him. 

His eyes widen and his mouth opens just as you press your lips together. His shocked breath pushes the smoke into your mouth, and you pull back after a moment to let it creep out in slow wisps around your face. 

You see the reflection of yourself in his shades, and you’re surprised at the excitement you gain in the picture of your synthetic body doing something so clearly organic. 

You catch Dirk’s eyes behind them after a moment, and you’re startled by how expressive he is through them. They’re confused and angry and maybe even a little happy all at once. 

He hasn’t said anything, you’re not even really sure he’s breathed, but he also hasn’t left. He probably would’ve marched his boney ass into the apartment and avoided you like the fucking plague already if he was going to. But he hasn’t, and that makes things so much better or maybe so much worse. 

You twitch when he moves, half expecting to get decked, but he just tugs your hand still holding the cigarette back up to his lips and fills his lungs. He holds it and watches you with newly determined eyes. 

You begin to fully understand what you did as you look at Dirk. You kissed him. You put your silicon mold to his lips and kissed him. You’re stuck between wanting to feel the pressure of his lips again and wanting to understand what the hell he’s doing, so you stand frozen. 

His eyes turn impatient as you stare at him, and he surprises you yet again. His hands find the back of your neck and pull you in suddenly, kissing you with intent this time. He opens his lips and breaths smoke into your empty body. 

You feel yourself move towards him, dropping the cigarette to hold his face with your hands as he kisses you. In the back of your mind you wish you could taste him, but you remind yourself that he would probably just taste like smoke. 

He slides his hands to the sides of your neck and holds you. You press into him, trying to match him even though you know you both have no experience. The pressure is strange on your synthetic lips but it certainly isn’t bad. The hard push and pull is just as present here as it is anywhere else in your relationship, but you find yourself enjoying it. 

The idea that he wants you here enough that he’s kissing you hard on the shitty balcony of your apartment feels wonderful. It’s the most comfortable you’ve ever been with Dirk. 

He pulls back and looks at you. You watch as his eyes flick between yours like he’s looking for something and it makes you feel a little choked up. Your hands tug at his shirt to pull him in, wrapping your arms around him and pushing your face into his neck. He freezes, but finally settles as you squeeze his body to yours. 

The way you felt when he was kissing you, like he really wanted you, was so precious. You need it, you crave any smidgen of validation you can get from him. You don’t think he knows it, but if he does he might be the cruelest man you’ve ever met. 

You don’t expect a response. In fact, you almost expect him to pull away. But he slowly sets his hands to your sides like he’s grounding you. 

It’s a nice weight to have him close like this. He breathes in roughly, then lets go before relaxing. You feel the way he clutches at your plating a little harder, then softens and slides his hands over your back. 

You don’t know how long the two of you stand there, but it’s long enough to notice the difference in tone when he finally speaks again, muffled into your shoulder. 

“Please.”

You hear it in his voice. It sounds broken and young, and you can hear the feelings he keeps under lock and key breaking through. It sends a shot through your chest as you connect the dots right there, holding him to you. 

He doesn’t know how to handle any of this. He’s confused, he’s scared, and he’s torturing himself over feelings he can’t possibly ever control. So you hold him. And he clutches at you with his hands pushing into your plating.

Dirk shifts and pulls his head up to look at you. His cheek is red from being pressed against the plates. You find yourself reaching out to rest your hand over it, stopping a few inches away. He takes it and sets it carefully to his cheek while looking at you with wide eyes. 

The sensors on your palm warm and you find yourself stroking his jaw just to feel the skin there. He’s never really let you touch him, let alone so softly. You wonder if Dirk’s feelings are as strange as yours, all bundled up in your gut where they tug and push when you think too much. 

Looking at him now, sweet and warm, feels hopeful. He looks at you with a comforting weighted gaze like he’s not sure if he’s aloud to, but he couldn’t keep his eyes off you even if he wanted to. 

It’s soft and quiet around you when you smile at him for the first time in a while. Dirk isn’t harsh or rude in the way his eyes scrunch and lift with his cheeks under your hand, and it feels amazing. You’re light and floating with him for the first time, instead of pulling opposite ends of a chord. 

He shifts so that his lips are pushed a little against your hand, still holding his face, like he’s kissing your palm. It makes you grin a just little more. 

“We should go inside.” Dirk whispers into your hand. “Maybe watch something?” He looks down and then back up to you with a small smile. 

“Alright.” You say simply. He takes your hand and brings it down to hold before pushing away from the railing slightly, looking at you expectantly.

You can’t keep the grin off of your face as you follow him back into the beat up apartment.


End file.
